Russ Ray

Trying to become more like Jesus

Spam, spam, spam, spam

3 Comments

They throw their money into the gutters. Their hard-earned cash stinks like garbage. They find that it won’t buy a thing they either want or need on Judgment Day. They tripped on money and fell into sin.—Ezekiel 7:19 (MSG)

Spam is one of the most hilarious things on earth.

No, not the canned “meat” product (which as you can see is CRAZY TASTY), but the fun stuff that your junk filter picks up out of your email.

I got this yesterday, and when I saw who the sender was, I just had to stop and read through it.

From: MRS. HILLARY CLINTON (mrshillaryclinton@us.net)

I’ll bet Obama had a fit three years ago when he discovered that Hillary’s dot-gov address was taken and they had to get this second-rate dot-net one instead. Bill was stuck on GoDaddy.com for 6 hours trying to get the domain unparked.

Sent: Mon 6/06/11 10:31 AM
To:

UNITED STATE OF AMERICA

We might be united, but we haven’t united into one state yet.

OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY OF STATE
COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT
RESOLUTION PANEL ON PAYMENT)
WASHINGTON DC

I wish to use this medium and my new office

I’m happy that after 3 years of service that she finally got a new office. If she lasts 2 more years, she gets an extra week of vacation.

to inform you that your CONTRACT/INHERITANCE

Which one is it? If someone died, I should have at least sent flowers to their funeral.

Payment of USD$10m (TEN Million Dollars) from CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA and there local banks has been RELEASED and APPROVED for onward transfer to you via an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw all the USD$10m in any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world, but the maximum you can withdraw in a day is USD$10,000 Only

I think my bank only lets me withdraw $500 a day. Man, the Nigerians have it so easy over there. Even their banks are better than ours!

By the way, geniuses… check the math: $10M divided by $10,000 days is 1,000 days… so it’s going to take me almost 3 years to get my money?

The UNITED STATE OF AMERICA government has mandated CITI BANK OF NIGERIA, to send you the ATM CARD and PIN NUMBER with other relevant document from our government

How many document do I need?

and British government

Hey, lets keep the British out of this, shall we? We haven’t needed them for more than 200 years.

and the united nation,

Not only have the states united by now the nations too? I guess the One World Order happened while I wasn’t looking.

You are therefore advice to contact director and the Head of ATM CARD Department of CITI BANK OF NIGERIA for further instructions and to release your approved ATM CARD to you.

Contact Person: Mr. PHILIP EZE

Now, wait… is that pronounced “ease” or “easy”? I don’t want to accidentally insult him and have him send guys to my house with machetes.

CITI BANK OF NIGERIA
Phone number: +234-80-89350730

You would think that Citibank would have a 1-800 number by now.

EMAIL: mrphil.eze@skymail.mn

A Mongolian domain for a Nigerian bank? This Eze guy sure gets around. And I like how all these email addresses have the title of the person in them.

Tell Mr. PHILIP EZE your direct phone number and contact address where you want him to send the ATM CARD and PIN NUMBER to you BUT YOU WILL PAY FOR THE LITTLE INSURANCE AND SHIPMENT FEES FOR DELIVERY.

Sure, when we’re talking about $10M in fake money, what’s a few thousand in insurance and fees among friends?

I am very sorry for the delay you have gone through in the past years.

Me too… I wish they would hurry up and finish that construction on I-465 already.

Thanks for adhering to this instruction and once again accept my congratulations.

And thank you for that entertaining 8 years in the White House with your husband.

Best Regards.
MRS. HILLARY CLINTON
OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY OF STATE

Do you read your spam or ignore it? What are some funny ones that you’ve received?

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3 thoughts on “Spam, spam, spam, spam

  1. My favorite post of the day!

  2. Haha. I thought about doing a post on Spam too. I just got one today that offered me Medical Marijuana…not sure what that says about me. Mostly though, they offer me iphones or want to take my money to free some prince in nigeria.

  3. i got this email sent to me too

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