Russ Ray

Trying to become more like Jesus

July SPAM of the Month Club

3 Comments

This worked out well last time, so here is another can of SPAM for you!


From: Mrs. Rosemary Campbell
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2011 1:11 PM
Subject: DID YOU ASK MR.NEWMAN TO CLAIM YOUR FUND ON YOUR BEHALF

NO I DID NOT. WAS I SUPPOSED TO ASK MR. NEWMAN TO CLAIM MY FUND ON MY BEHALF? AND WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MR. NEWMAN ANYWAY? I THOUGHT HE DIED A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO. I THOUGHT HE DID A GREAT JOB AS DOC IN “CARS”. AND WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?

Good Day to you !! you see i am a very busy person and have a lot of things to do so if you are ready get back to me

I don’t think a spammer has ever been so rude with me. Are you too important to talk to a little guy like me? “Oh, I’m Rosemary… you need to get back to me right away, because you’re wasting time I could use to tell other people about cheap prescription medications and how to get bigger.”

This is to intimate you of a very important information which will be of a great help to you if you are there to read this message.

Hey, wait a minute… I don’t get intimate with spammers on the first email. At least Rosemary didn’t misspell the last word as “massage”. That might have even been more creepy. Next time, Rosemary, at least send me a picture and then I might hook you up with one of my single friends.

I am Barry Linson the Finance Director Of the Compensation Office West Africa District .

Wait a minute… I thought you said your name was Rosemary. West Africa must be the Tijuana of sex change operatories across the pond.

There is presently a counter claims on your funds by one Mr. Newman , who is presently trying to make us believe that you are dead

That’s pretty funny that Paul Newman is trying to tell you that I am dead. Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black to me.

and even explained that you entered into an agreement with him, to help you in receiving your fund.

Wait a minute… I’ve seen “The Sting” and I know how this guy works.

He is also ready to pay for the release charge of $185 USD on your funds which makes us want to make this last confirmation before going ahead to pay this Mr.Newman Lazarus.

Even creepier… Paul Newman comes back to life and now he calls himself “Mr. Lazarus”. Cue the Twilight Zone music…

Here comes the big question.

No, I will not marry him.

Did you sign any deed of assignment in favor of (Mr. Newman Lazarus )?

That was the big question? How anti-climactic.

Thereby making him the current beneficiary the sum of $2.500.000.000.00

There are a lot of decimal points there. If he wants the $2.50, he can have it.

with the following account details:? Mr. Newman Lazarus , ac/number: 6503809428. Routing/122006743, b/name: citi bank, address: new york,usa, we shall proceed to issue all payments details to the above named person if we do not hear from you within the next five working days.

Go ahead. If Paul Newman Lazarus wants to spend $185 to make $2.50, that’s on him, but with that kind of financial acumen, I’m surprised that Newman’s Own has stayed in business for so long.

Respond to this e-mail on ( barrylinson@rogers.com ) with immediate effect and
we shall give you further details on how your fund will be released.

Whatever you say, Rosemary.

Just like i said earlier supposed beneficiary Mr.Newman is ready to pay the only release charge on your funds which is $185 USD,if we allow him pay this fee that automatically makes him the owner and the money will be transferred into his account

You take the van. I’ll keep the dog.

so do respond to this message if you are alive

What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.

You know, if so that we can be sure of doing the right thing due to the hugh

6 degrees from Paul Newman to Hugh Grant: Paul Newman was in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” with Sam Elliott, who was in “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” with Hugh Grant.

amount of money involved. Also call me as soon as you send the e-mail so that you will be given an immediate response:

Regards,

MR.BARRY LINSON .
DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL
REMMITANCE DEPT, FOREIGN OPERATION

You know what.I.love so much about spam? It’s all the weird punctuation;and mmispellings.

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3 thoughts on “July SPAM of the Month Club

  1. This NEEDS to be a regular feature!

  2. Thinking about it… we’ll try it out for a couple more months.

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