You know the drill. If not, check out the other SPAM of the Month Club posts.
From: PAUL EZEKWESILI
Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 10:56 PM
Subject: YOUR ATM CARD WORTH OF $3.5M IS READY FOR DELIVERY
All right! I can’t believe my $3.5 million ATM card is ready for delivery!
Attention: Honorable Beneficiary
Technically, my title is Grand Poobah of Western Naptown and Assistant to the Viceroy of Potted Meat Food Products.
Our Ref: FGN /SNT/STB Your Ref
I have no idea what it means, but who cares for $3.5 million, right?
This is to officially inform you that(A.T.M) Automated Teller Machin system of payment has been accredited in your favor.
Despite your poor language skills, I’m glad that you understood and avoided one of my pet peeves… calling the “ATM” the “ATM machine”. It’s not an automated teller machine machine! In my country, an insult to the Grand Poobah of Western Naptown and Assistant to the Viceroy of Potted Meat Food Products is a serious offense. My subjects would force feed you with 18 cans of corned beef hash and vienna sausages, duct tape you to an Indy car, and then drive you around the track at 200 mph until you leave vomit trails on the walls.
Your Personal Identification number is 0000.
That sounds like the same combination that an idiot would have for his luggage.
The ATM Card Value is $3.5M usd You are advice to contact with the following information’s;
Awesome, I am ready to provide you with the following information’s;
Russell Aloysius Ray the First, ESQ.
0000 Assistant Viceroy Boulevard
West Indianapolis, IN 46214
No, city… but I was once from the country.
Grand Poobah of Western Naptown and Assistant to the Viceroy of Potted Meat Food Products.
Heh-heh, wouldn’t you like to know, pervert?
Hey, this isn’t one of those trick emails where you try to sell me Cialis and Vicodin, is it?
9 (in leap years)
Contact me with this e-mail:
There you go, Mr. Paul Ezekwesili. I strongly await my $3.5 ATM machine card!
Wait… is that the end?
Is that it?
No more SPAM?
It can’t end like that…
From: Martin Webbs
Sent: Monday, August 22, 2011 1:19 AM
Subject: MORE INCOME
Are you interested earning more income legitimately with funds wired directly into your credit card and you take $200 as your commission per Transaction?
Sorry, Martin… I already talked to your buddy Mr. Paul Ezekwesili about running an ATM machine scheme. You’re too late.
From: eLearn Office – Windows Videos
Sent: Monday, August 22, 2011 10:32 AM
Subject: تعليم ويندوز وأوفيس بالعربية مجانا
موقع أكثر من رائع
يحتوي علي حلقات العلم والإيمان
ودروس مجانيه فيديو لتعليم الويندوز والأوفيس
والتسجيل مجاناً هذا الشهر
بعد التسجيل يمكنك مشاهدة جميع الدروس مجاناً
لمشاهدة حلقات العلم والإيمان إضغط هنا
لمشاهدة دروس فيديو لتعليم الويندوز والأوفيس إضغط هنا
I’m sorry, I don’t even know what to do with that.
Well, I’m having trouble ending this on a high note, so here’s a hilarious internet video instead!