Russ Ray

Trying to become more like Jesus

December SPAM of the Month Club

2 Comments

SPAM has two things in common with fruitcake: you don’t ever really get rid of them, and neither one is really made out of meat. But what happens when Santa Claus gets SPAM in his inbox? It’s a ho-ho-ho of a good time! As always, if you like this, check out the other entries in the SPAM of the Month Club.

Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2012 10:25:06 +0300
Subject: سائق خاص بسيارة حديثة موديل 2013 .. لتوصيل المشاوير الخاصة داخل مدينة الرياض فقط
From: saudi_com@yahoo.com

لديه الاستعداد التام في توصيل :

Okay, just a second here, now… old Santa’s got to put his reading glasses on. The old peepers just aren’t the same as they used to be!

الأفراد داخل الرياض
الموظفات الدوام الصباحي والمسائي
المشاوير العائلية الخاصة
توصيل الأفراد والعوائل من وإلى المطار
توصيل المشاوير الخاصة لأي مكان وفي أي وقت

Wait, now… what was that? Maybe I’ve got the CAPS LOCK key stuck on again…

ملاحظة / الإلتزام التام بالمواعيد ووجود محرم

I’M SORRY, I’M AFRAID I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND.

لطلب الخدمة التواصل على جوال / ٠٥٦٧١٣٨٢٠٨

WAIT, AM I SHOUTING? SORRY, HOW RUDE OF ME… SANTA DOESN’T SHOUT. HERE LET ME PRESS THIS CAPS LOCK KEY again and see if that helps… oh my, that is better! Now what was that you were saying again?

أبو حبيبة

I’m sorry, I guess I’m just still not getting it… maybe if I hold down this ALT key I can 

From: New Pharmacy <all_drugs708772@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, December 19, 2012 6:27 AM
Subject: SUPER DISCOUNTS from Online Pharmacy!

Hello,

Thank you for reading this email.

Oh, well, how polite! I’m sure you’re on the nice list!

WE PROMISE that will not take many time,

OK, well… that’s good… this is my busy time of year at work, and I really don’t have much time to read all these emails.

JUST READ this email and VISIT our website http://www.medsafenow.com (copy and paste the link to your browser) and WE GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE INTERESTED.

Now, what is that address again? Is there a city and town? I’m afraid I’ve never heard of a place called Dotcom.

We glad to inform you about SUPER DISCOUNTS at our largest pharmacy network!

Oh, I see… you said paste the link… well, just a second then…

(leaves, and returns with wrapping paper and paste)

Let me write this down… www-period-medsafenow-period-com

(gets out the scissors and cuts out a strip of paper)

OK… I copied… and now I paste…

(smears paste all over the screen)

Now I have my copy and I paste it right here… just like so…

(sticks the paper on the screen and waits)

OK… I don’t think it’s doing anything.

(looks at his watch)

And I can’t read the screen now because there’s paste all over it.

(looks dejected)

Now I have to call Elf Support…

(gets up and leaves)


It’s probably a good thing that Santa didn’t get down to the Viagra part, or our friends might have ended up on the naughty list instead.

So… what do you want for Christmas? Comments below…

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2 thoughts on “December SPAM of the Month Club

  1. Love the SPAM posts. I can picture you actually speaking to your monitor as you read them.

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